


Matt

by sweeneybearsam



Series: Letters to My Love [3]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M, Married Dorks, mack - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-02-17 05:09:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2297687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweeneybearsam/pseuds/sweeneybearsam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a trying week and finding out they are expecting a baby girl, one they plan to name Ariel, Richard takes a second to remind Matthew that he's everything to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Matt

Matthew—

Don’t ask me why I’m writing this. I guess I just felt a need. I’m working on Ariel’s room every day, fixing little things, putzing around… and it occurs to me that while we’ve talked about how happy we are, and what we want in the future with our daughter, I never told you how much this means to me. I know my initial reluctance and reaction to the topic hurt you. You’ve wanted to be a daddy as long as I’ve known you, and while I was reluctant at first, the way you smile and light up when you talk about Ariel and how much you can’t wait to meet her make me more excited as each day goes on. People often call babies blessings, and while I’m not religious, I agree. Ariel is a blessing. 

Ariel is the most amazing blessing, because she is what will make us a family. I spent so long being told I would never have one, that I was undeserving. I know that I still am. I’ve made changes, but I still feel as though I’m the most undeserving of such amazing love. I have a husband who loves me despite my worst flaws, and soon… we will have our precious little girl to share this love with. Even undeserving, though? I’m grateful. I speak often about the way I knew upon meeting you that you were my life. The one I’d waited so long to find. It’s not an exaggeration. The moment I met you, the way my heart leapt and mind raced… I still feel that now. Six years, eight months, two weeks and nine days later, you still make me forget what I was saying just by flashing me a crooked grin, or widening those beautiful green eyes.

I was in a dark place when we met. There was so much hanging over my head about my divorce and my guilt over the things I allowed to happen and my inability to stand up for myself… but something about the way you took my hand made me feel safe. That was something I hadn’t felt in years, and the feeling only intensified when you hugged me goodnight. I can’t tell you why, or what… but something about how carefully we fit together that night, even for those brief seconds… felt more like home than I’d ever felt. I know I never hid my crush. You and I bantered back and forth, and I know you more than likely never knew that I was not kidding every time I told you how much I loved you. 

We’ve come through a lot of shit to get us here. We’ve overcome lies, hurt, fear, anger and hot tempers. I know I’m to blame for most of the hurt, with my attempts to protect you by covering the truth about my past relationships, but I think we’re in a good place past all of that. We’ve survived some pretty scary things… like almost losing you, and to this day, that damn scar is one of my favorite parts of you. It reminds me that you are precious to me, and that I need to think carefully before I say something to you. I wouldn’t forgive myself if the last thing I ever said to you was something ugly. It reminds me that even though things get dark, you, my love… you’re a fighter. Strong, brave, selfless and worthy of admiration.

You’ll never understand just how much I love you. How much I adore waking up to you asleep beside me, seeing how you’ve sprawled out in your sleep and the way you always seem to have the smallest smile on your lips, like you’re dreaming about something amazing. I will never find words for how much my heart swells when I hear that front door open and you step in, back from a long day at work. I wouldn’t know where to begin to explain to you how I love the way you kiss me, or how electric your touch is. 

I know I have complicated relationships with Bas and Rob, but never has anything with anyone, not even them, felt the way things do with you. You’re the only person I know who can destroy me with a single sentence, and cure every hurt with a simple smile. Nothing feels as perfect and as right as laying with you, head over your heart. No one knows me the way you do. I love that most days, I don’t have to say anything. You just know what is going on, and that speaks volumes about our relationship and our bond. I will never be able to express my gratitude to you for the love you’ve given me so selflessly. For the way you’ve made my life worth living and how you reminded me that life can be bright. You’re the one who reminded me that living may not be easy, but with the right person at your side, simple moments make it more than worth the pain.

Even when we fight, I hope you know, even if just in your heart... you’re the only person in the world I’d want to fight with, because you’re the only person in the world I want to make up with. I hope you know that even when I’m angry with you, there is no one I love as much as you, that I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything, or anyone. I hope you know that even on nights where I stay away from you, it’s because you being happy means more to me than risking hurting you over some temporary irritation. You’re my greatest wish come true, and I will never get over the butterflies you’ve always given me.

This got way more mushy than I meant for it to… but every word is true. I hope you find this while you’re still at work… I was hoping it would give you a reason to show them all your gorgeous smile.  
I love you, Matthew Joseph Speight, with every fiber of my being. You’re my one and done.

I can’t wait for you to get home. Have a great day, my love.

Forever and always,

Ricky


End file.
